Willpower...or lack thereof :(

Morning All

I am being weighed tomorow and I am trying soo hard to be good this week so that I have a good number as my starting point. I have not weighed myself in a very long time this is partly to do with me being upset at being the same heavy weight I have been for a while. I got really happy a couple of summer ago when I managed to loose weight and drop a dress size! I was happy wearing dresses all the time showing off my figure ...all round loving it. One slight problem I ddnt keep up the training and eating well and so my weight has crept back up and now im back to being a size 12! :( All I want to be is a size smaller but this seems difficult mainly bcz of my willpower and ability to stick to somethng for a long period!

I figure thats the problem with diets you do it for a short space of time and manage to loose the weight and then you go back to eating "normal" and it all comes back! It needs to be a lifestyle change! (sounds soo cliche). My goal is to be able to get back into my LBD without  feeling i cant breathe and will burst the dress if i sit down! Trish is always telling me that for her its not about weight but body fat % which is great but i still have an issue with my weight and am focused on that! As well as calorie counting but thats another story all together :)

My goals for this week have been cutting out Starbucks and Chocolate(Soo hard when Trish is sat right next to me!) + Alcohol! (im such a binge drinker) And Im pleasd to say that I have not had any one of those items this week! Going to dinner with Trish and the girls tonight will be soo hard! But if my Boo can do it so can I!!

I have to make a quick confession on my bid to stay healthy this week I have been on 1500 KCal since January! and one of my weakness is KFC (collasal bad I know!) I come home from class and there it was and I was soo tempted so i took half of the burger! It didnt taste half as good as I remembered and I felt physically sick after eating it! plus emmensly guilty that all the effort im putting in on being healthy and cutting bad food is going down the pan!

Putting myself in my Boo's shoes is what is keeping me going and what will keep me going even after I reach my goal! If he can refrain and do it so can I!

I am off to the Gym at lunch today to burn off my KFC binge! And also attempting to change my attitude that its not the quantity of calories that matter but the qualitity :)

Wish me luck for tommorow xxx